The biggest challenge you’ll ever face with having boundaries is holding them.
Why? Because it’s only when they are challenged by others that you face the real test.
The question really is, are you able to hold the line when you’re tested, or will you cower under the pressure?
It’s one thing to say you’ve got values and boundaries, it’s another to hold them when they are challenged.
When you’re called to honor what you stand for, to go beyond the word, to follow through with action.
Particularly when something of perceived value is dangled in front of you, will you cave or hold true to yourself?
It is in our ability to hold our position that we honor ourselves. When we honor ourselves, we build on our self-confidence, self-worth, and self-respect.
We solidify our energetic container. We become stronger in ourselves, we build our belief in ourselves.
Holding boundaries for yourself is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes, when you start to hold boundaries, those that are used to crossing them will dislike this. Stay the course, the reward will be provided by increased self-respect and self-love.
When we let others breach our boundaries or we drop our values for something else in return, we breach the trust we have in ourselves. This is the ultimate betrayal. We are essentially selling ourselves out.
This act of self-abandonment is what diminishes our self-worth and self-love, and allows others to take advantage of us.
Are you able to withstand the pressure of holding tension, your position, upholding your values, and standing by your decisions without cowering under the pressure?
This is the most difficult part of holding to your values and boundaries, particularly if you’ve commonly dropped them to please others, or to avoid conflict.
If you are used to having little or no boundaries or dropping your values, you may find you are unhappy within your relationships, feeling like you are not getting what you want out of them, or constantly feeling taken advantage of. Often, this is why.
We failed to hold the boundaries in the first instance, teaching another what is and is not okay. We teach others how to treat us, and if we don’t hold our boundaries, which we put in place to protect ourselves and our needs, then these will be crossed.
What’s more is, when we start to hold them, those that are not used to having us hold boundaries will often be upset or triggered by your unusual behavior, which is normal as you have never set the boundaries before, or have loosely held ones.
The most important thing to remember here is when you hold your position based on setting your boundaries and holding your values, let go of the outcome. It’s not about being right, winning, or ego-based thinking, it is about an act of self-respect and self-love, and that is all. An act of protecting your self-worth. It doesn’t have to be aggressive, although it may initially feel confronting until you start getting used to what it feels like to back yourself.
If you’re simply doing what serves you whilst being unattached to the outcome, you place yourself in a very powerful position when you hold your position from this standpoint. At some point, the other party will respect your values and boundaries, and ultimately respect and honor you, or they will walk away.
And if they walk away, were they ever really right for you to begin with?
If you would like to explore more on this and learn about some practical tools you can implement to help you start living a life of alignment and self-love, reach out for a confidential chat.
Emotional Freedom Tapping is a technique you can use to help you connect with your value and self-worth, helping you to hold the line on your boundaries. To watch the instructional video, and download the tapping template, click here: Emotional Freedom Tool
If you find the tools and techniques that we share helpful, please share and invite others to join our community.
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Much Love
Loretta
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